The Best Laid Plans Often Go Astray

Mom died on the Saturday before Labor Day. Kenna died on the Friday before Memorial Day. I don't know what it is with my family members and holiday weekends, but sadness now hovers over all of my summer holidays.

It had been nearly two months since I'd last seen Mom. I took an extra day after the July 4th holiday so I could have a long weekend with my family. Independence Day had always been a favorite holiday for Kenna and me, and I found myself rather depressed this year. I stayed at Mom's a little longer than I had intended and I was late getting to the park to watch fireworks. I don't know what kept me at Mom's, but I didn't want to leave, and I cried on my way out. Maybe I knew our time together was almost gone. I can't remember a single thing we talked about that night, but I remember turning off her lamp, kissing and hugging her, and telling her I'd see her again the following day. I did, but she was so exhausted that she could barely stay awake long enough to visit. That was the last time I saw her before her heart attack.

The last time I talked to her on the phone, she was in the skilled nursing unit. It was late in the afternoon, a time when her mind seemed to fog over somewhat, probably due to exhaustion from all the activities of the day. Her room didn't have a phone, so I talked to her on Cheryl's cell phone. That was always frustrating for both of us because she could barely hear me and I could barely understand her. We tried, but there were a lot of "What"s and "I can't hear you"s. I told her I would come visit soon, and she said, "I love you very much. Please don't forget me."

That's it. The last thing my mother said to me in a coherent state of mind was, "Please don't forget me." It will haunt me forever to think that she even considered that a possibility.

I had plans that Labor Day weekend. Cheryl had been telling me how she would go see Mom at the skilled nursing unit during lunch time. She would walk in the door and see Mom in the dining hall with her friends. When Mom would see Cheryl, her face would just light up with happiness and she would smile. My plan for that weekend was to spend as much time as I could Friday evening and Saturday doing homework so I would have plenty of free time for the rest of the weekend. I was going to drive in late Saturday or early Sunday so I could walk in with Cheryl during Mom's lunch. I was so excited. It had been a long time since I'd seen Mom anywhere besides her bed and I couldn't wait to see her face light up.

Instead, I watched her die.